We’re proud¹ to have you as the newest member² of our [Product Name Here] sales team. Here at [Subsidiary Company Name Here] we’re passionately committed to [Vague Passionate Commitment Here] and we know you are too³. Here at [Company Name] we’re all about giving the people what they want, and what they want is [Product Name] (the ad boys have seen to that!⁴). As a valuable member of our [Company] family⁵ this is where you come in. ¹ Any assertion of pride is purely performative and does not reflect the Board’s opinion of individual employees ² Unless otherwise stated new employees shall be referred to as “Office Drone” ³ Please see Standard Employee Contract section 11b Subsection 12: “Your New Personal Opinions” ⁴ Any suggestion of consumer manipulation by [Company Name] advertising practices is purely hypothetical ⁵ [Company Name] is a registered corporation and not a familial unit. Please see Employee Contract section 154a, “Knowing Your {Lack Of} Rights” - Choose - Maximising profit and satisfying the board will require planning. In each city, utilise suspiciously* empty locations and create an inescapable maze of retail opportunities the masses simply won’t be able to refuse! *not suspicious at all - Spend - Those stores aren’t gonna build themselves*! Make sure to prioritise your earning potential by managing your budget: buy the right stores in the right locations at the right price. *Self-building stores coming in [Unobtainable Release Date Here]! - Earn - Once you build it, they will come. And keep coming! But it’ll take more than one location to satisfy the Board’s exponential profiteering*. Combine locations and store types to really take them for all they’re worth and open up exciting new opportunities around the world! *Year on year growth is currently set at a more-than-reasonable 3015% --- KEY FEATURES --- - An innovative new type of game: Combining puzzle mechanics with tower defence games, Rip Them Off is a new breed of challenge, easy to pick up but hard to master. - Gorgeous design: Evoke your inner Mad Man with 1950s inspired music and graphics. - Addictive gameplay: Each new city provides an increasingly devilish challenge. Can you make it all the way to the biggest metropoles? - Challenge your friends: Who’s the best rip off merchant? Compete against your friends and/or rivals with the leaderboard feature to find out who comes out on top. - Map of the Moment: Hone your capitalistic edge post-launch with Map of the Moment, showcasing revamped versions of your favourite maps with fun modifiers to keep you on your toes. - Go fast or slow: Control the flow of time to make sure your strategies unfold with perfection. - iCloud sync - No connection required Choose your location, choose your stores, give the people what they want. And of course, don’t forget to… Rip them off!